December : Ai' ve arrive

Finally, after the incredible journey "9 months of pregnancy",
Ai' ve arrive safely and healthy.

December : Christmas Night

Christmas day, I and PP decide that we will stay home lay back, eat junk food and watch television.
Our Christmas gift to each other is Ai, who wiggle hard inside of me :)

I feel the contraction twice in the morning. I feel fine and still resume my activities. At night time I start to feel the contraction again and it keep repeating. I told PP that I might need to go to hospital in the morning. We both fell asleep.

I wake up around 10.00pm, My contraction is stronger and harder but it still far apart (we was told to wait until the contraction come every 4 mins apart). I can call it painful right now, cause I cannot move when it comes. I bear the pain until 11.00pm, then I decide to go to hospital.
We arrive the hospital before midnight. The nurse put monitor on me, while PP manage to get the room setting for me. I was told that I'm in active labor ... 5 cm. dilated and 100% effaced ...

I'm so scared, am I gonna give birth tonight. I'm not ready... Gosh! help me.

PP was so exciting, he stay by my side almost all the time. He give me a pitiful look every time my contraction comes, right now it is so so so painful. I ask for epidural soon after that.
After I was given the epidural, whole world become nicer again and I fell asleep.

I wake up around 4.00am and saw my doctor right there, smile at me..."I told you, you're not gonna make it to new year". He told me that I will have baby in my arm in less than 2 hour.

Whatever, I did push him out with the nurse on my right and PP on my left. It take half an hour and we have our GREATEST Christmas gift crying out loud in our hand.

Thank you Dr. Alexander and nurse Lethal.

December : My last prenatsl visit

I was told that this week gonna be my last prenatal visit :$ I'm not quite sure about it, because I feel nothing. After exam me, Dr. said that I was so close to labor than I thought with 2cm. dilated and thin. He said I'm not gonna make it to the end of month har.r..r...
PP decide to schedule my labor on December 27, just to wait for my mom who will arrive on December 26 ... and of course if I'm not going to labor by myself before that.
We both came home with different thought in mind.
For me, I'm not really want the induction in my labor. I just feel like my labor to be in a natural way, and I don't feel the need of rushing baby out of me.
But for PP, he feel the schedule labor is good and certain, do not have to worry and surprise that no doctor around on new year.
Anyway, Ai might wanna come before 27, WHO KNEW?

December : My first sign

On Saturday 22, I plan to have my last grocery shopping before I'm going to labor. PP will take me to have a nice lunch at our favorite Chinese restaurant too.

I was doing my personal routine as usual, but I noticed something that make me want to scream. It is a "SHOW", I stare at it again and again...It look like it is! I was in a momentary shock and think, "Am I gonna go into the labor now?"

After calm down, I check my info and found out that it might be 2 days to 2 weeks from now. That's better! I just relax and go shopping as I planned.

The next day morning, It "SHOW" again and much more than yesterday. I also feel discomfort at my lower back and abs, and a pressure on my bladder as well. I'm convinced by now that I will going to be in a labor soon.

December : Night out with Ai

On Saturday, Dec 15, PP 's office has a Christmas party, which is fun and interesting party IMO; lots of guest, games and activities. Normally, most party will held on roof top in the office with catering, but this time they arrange it outside at the place called"Nirvana"; India and Pakistan fusion food restaurant in Beverly Hill.

We arrive there around 8.30pm, and I quite impress with chaos of the interior decoration 555;
I placed myself opposite the bar, good spot for hardly moved-full termed pregnant woman to observe 555. Everyone who come to the bar generously greet and bless me, I'm full of bless tonight. PP have almost half a dozen of drinks, so fun to see him like that once in a while. They have full bar with appetizer until 10.30pm , then the dinner had been served (so late, harrr...) the food is not bad at all, compare to my nostalgia about India and Pakistan food.

Anyway, the light dim; the music loud and the party begins. At some point, Ai was so so active. I can feel him dancing inside me, his little feet keep tapping at my rib. Sometime, my tear was dropped, it is really painful. This might be a warning, not to take (unborn) baby to an unpleasant place 555.

The highlight of tonight is the boss present this year Christmas gift, one of it is an ipod (as I guess), digital camera or a remoted helicopter. PP pick the camera which is happened to be the one he plan to buy :)

We came home around 2am. Both me and PP was exhausted, but Ai is unbelievable active and keep dancing until 4am. :(

December : Ai, Me and Diaper

After I was told that Ai might come sooner than I thought, It is a warmth welcome feeling plus worry about lot of things that won't be in place yet. His crib still in box, car seat still unwrap and I just realize that I still have things to buy. Breast pump, feeding bottles and diaper & wipe are among those lists. I surely do need diapers and wipes, but how many should I buy in which size? Do I need electric breast pump or just manual one, which brand should I get? And do I need bottles right now, even I want to do breastfeed? If so, how many?

Some said I need at least 450 pcs. of size 1 diapers, at least 120 wipes ???

It is time for me to go shopping again :)

December : Doctor visit

On Dec 10, I have appointment with my Ob-Gyn. He told me that my baby is already head down and he will be ready to born ANYTIME soon... HOW EXCITING! and he said I might not make it until the end of this month :(

I drive home with ... don't know how to explain ... scared ... exciting ... worry... and definitely happy, of course. My mom just change her flight to be here on Dec 26, which I and PP hope she will be with us when our baby arrive.

So, now I talk to Ai whenever he gone active, let him know that grandma will come to see him. Please WAIT!

December : My Baby Shower

It is a popular tradition for American people to have a baby shower; a party in which the expectant parents will receive a gift for their expected child. I heard a lot about this kind of party but never experience one myself.
Last month, we had been questioned about when will our baby shower will be held from lot of friends, actually everyone we know ask this question. We both never ever thought about having one, of course, it is not our tradition.

Finally, after several offer from a friend who wanna host a party, we decide to have one on Dec 1st. The party was hosted by Hiro and Eriko, our Japanese friends. It is a small luncheon party, but yet lovely and cozy. I will surely in deep regret if I didn't have one. Eriko come from Osaka, so she decide to cook an Osaka traditional food; Takoyaki and Okonomiyaki, we all love it. I do Thai dessert, Tup-Tib-Krob, which is the first time for everyone, except PP who love love love it.(to make sure it will be ate up)

November : The first family trip_San Francisco2

Our second day start just as beautiful as the first one with a bit of tiredness plus laziness from yesterday long walk and the weather here is a lot colder than LA, as Mark Twain said;

"The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco."

I have no idea what SF summer would be like, but now in Winter is SUPER cold and windy.

In the morning, we stop by at China Town gate, have lunch at dim sum restaurant called, Pearl city; which is very good IMO. Then we take a bus to Fisherman wharf which I and PP don't feel much appreciate because it's very crowd and quite dirty not as nice as pier 39 ...actually we both feel like we are in Pattaya beach 555. At least, we get a chance to try a famous sour dough, Boudin; It's taste just like sour dough 555, which didn't suit our taste.


(we know later that we lost the cell phone at the dimsum restaurant, a little bit frustrated for us, but we manage to get over it...we are here to enjoy the life...and life is like that.)

I decide to go to the chocolate factory to sweeten the day :) at Ghiradelli Square, they served all kind of chocolate include a nice dark Chocolate ice-cream...make it bitter and colder... So we can feel even more of the sweet and warm.

At this point, I start to feel exhausted but still have the program to finish. Next is the Crookedest street, which we walk from the chocolate factory up the hill for several block...I can't believe that I do this while I'm 8 month pregnant.

November : The first family trip_San Francisco1

Surprisingly, one night PP rush in and tell me that he got a very good idea which is a trip to San Francisco during the thanksgiving holiday Nov 22-25 :0
I feel like getting a big hit behind my head. WOW..O...W...W....what on earth make him has this idea.
Anyway, I'm so happy just to think about it, a first family trip :)

PP drive from our place and stop by at Montery bay aquarium before head to San Francisco. We stay with our friend, Lin who study in SF, for 3 nights. We decide to left the car and commute around with bus and tram, so fun and convenience. Unlike LA, SF is small and cozy, 3 days is more than enough to explore most of the city.

Our first day starts at a famous, Pier39 which is crowd with tourist but yet still attractive. We decide to take a fleet for close up look of SF beauty, A Golden Gate Bridge, and her twin, A Bay Bridge. And also a glance of Alcatraz on our route back which we decide not to step inside...
I'm more exciting to see lot lot of sea lion (more than Alcatraz), They are so cute.

After that we walk up the hill to Coit tower, I forgot that I'm 8 month pregnant...it really tired.
But once we are on the top, it is so beautiful, breezy and sunny. on our way down is (a lot) easier 555. We continue heading to the city, take a tram which I was told that come from different country in Europe and re-assemble here, they look cool!

The next stop, we decide on the MOMA, museum of modern art which locate in the center of downtown SF. When we arrive there, we was lured by the Yerba Buena park oppose the museum, so so beautiful :) But what I like most about this park is, it is a big park in the center of the city and lot of people who come to use this space, lot of kids and parents enjoy their family time in this park.

This is such a nice place to rest after a long walk and complete our first day trip in San Francisco.

November : Car seat - Spare or Splurge

The next in shopping list is infant car seat which is a requirement in order to take our baby home, we need to have the car seat installed and have it approved by a supervisor from hospital before we can drive our baby home. Since we already bought the bugaboo stroller, the car seat is limited to only 3 brand that can use the adapter to snap in to our bugaboo; Graco, Peg perego and maxi-cosi.

Graco : safeseat step 1
Peg perego : primo viaggo
Maxi-cosi : mico

I take trip to several of the baby store and finally found a good helper from Chandra, the right start store manager(http://www.rightstart.com/), she is very nice and give a lot of helpful hints for the first time mom like me.
As I and PP fall in love with design and performance of Maxi-cosi, I fell to consider about weight limit and height limit of each car seat. According to the www.app.org and info from Chandra, the Maxi-cosi is a compact one and our baby tend to have long torso-consider my height and PP, so Ai might have use of this car seat at most 5-6 month only :(

If the baby crown is at 1" from the top of the shell of the car seat, it is the time to upgrade the car seat to a bigger one. And each of the car seat will expired after 6 years from the manufactured date.

Finally, I go home with the Graco-safeseat step 1 in black and silver with red trim, which will give me extra weight and height limit for Ai up to 30lbs and 32". and also fit nicely into our black bugaboo :)

November : Ai_luv u

Here come the day that we will see each other for the second time. Me and PP was so exciting.
I try to make myself hungry, not eat anything and I have my snack pack, chocolate along with ipod to play his favorite song. I hope when I'm having the sonogram, I can wake him up and let him move around like he always did every night. But it turn out that he sleep all the way, even I snack or play ipod through the womb speaker and I also roll over... needless to say...he is having such a sweet dream z.z..z...z.....z........
SLEEP LIKE DADDY

November : Splurge on stroller

A baby stroller is one of the must have items for new mom - even in Thailand, I heard that it become a necessity item as well. My mom have no idea why I need to buy a stroller which make me wonder "do I really need it?".

In fact, living with a baby without helping hand, I do really need it. Without any information, my first thought is a travel system which is a combination of an infant car seat and stroller which I find out later about its bulky and short life span. we start to stop and stare at people using their stroller around our area and we hard to tell any different in function of a popular brand like Graco, Peg perego, Chicco, Combi, etc; all seems to do have identical concept. Then, I come across the european website for baby stuff, Oh! gosh there is a new era of baby stroller.

Over 4 month of (re) searching for a baby stroller, driving like crazy to try out the stroller from each retailer. Here are some little thought:
Most of American people use the stroller with kids from birth up to 4+ year, and the average number of stroller each family buy is 4 because of weight limit and the type of stroller.

Mutsy : 4 rider = nice design&color but very big and heavy even when it folded.
Uppa baby : vista = wheel span is too wide, the bassinet can not face out, construct not neat.
Valco baby : RAD = very new, nice color but bulky, don't like much about design, fold small.
Quinny : Buzz = Love the color, fold small, have to buy bassinet $$$.
Stokke : xplory = Very stylish-nice concept, too small storage, look plasticky and $$$$$.
Bugaboo : Frog = Original of high-end stroller, 2 pieces fold, very light and smooth drive $$$$.
Bugaboo : Bee = Cute, modest yet stylish, unfortunately the accessory for newborn are not launch yet.
Peg perego : Skate = Love love love these stroller, everything is perfectly done! but it will launch in the end of 2008 with $$$$$$ :(


Finally, I splurge with the bugaboo frog which is very light weight, can use for kids up to 3-4 years, stroll like a dream with $$$. PP test drive it and he also like the design and function as well. I hope I will get used to the 2 pieces fold in no time. In addition,the bugaboo had been in the market for quite sometime, so I don't need to worry about the recall or customer service.

October : Jack O'lantern

PP office normally has a beer party almost every month or every other month, sometime I join them, sometime I don't; depend on my mood. But this Friday, PP told me that it's going to be a pumpkin carving party(a part of beer party-of course) for Halloween. And it will be a competition with $100 for first prize. He want me to join, so I said yes.

I manage to find out a little technique about a Jack O'Lantern aka pumpkin carving because this will be our first time doing this. I come up with couple design, grab some of my kitchen tool with me to join PP at his office.

After couple around of beer for PP and sandwich for me, we start to carve our pumpkin. Mostly, PP do the carving thing, because I really don't wanna use any sharpen tool. PP did a very good job and done the first one pretty fast. So, he decide to do another one which finish in no time as well.

It had around 30 people carving the jack, the room fulfilled with the pumpkin smell+beer and laughing - pretty fun party. 2 hour alter, everyone almost done and start to light up their own Jack and bring it out to the balcony....it is so beautiful.

And did I mention, we won the first prize! :):):)

October : Monopoly

It happened because my little guy (make me) craving for french fried and the closest one I can get is McDonald which located just half a block away from home. So, I become their regular for fried and milk shake. (Since I came here, I never ever tempt to eat at McDonald-even once.) This have to be a little guy who wanna eat...and in very American way, no ketchup, ew.w..w...can u believe that? I can finish all one large fried without any dip and feel so so satisfied :)

This month, McDonald has big promotion called "Monopoly", which is a game of collecting the stamp to get the prize $1,000,000. Because of little guy & me wanna eat fried almost everyday, PP happen to be interesting in the monopoly game and become addicted to play...that mean...he take me to eat everyday, or almost everyday :( in order to finish his collection of stamp.
It is so funny to me at first, but later in the month, even a little guy also tried to help daddy eating french fried too...5555

Luckily, the promotion is only for October month :) otherwise, I might scared fried to death!

October : Obsess

HELP! Someone please STOP me from buying clothes for DS.

This week I'm shopping everyday!!! (....screaming....)
It is holiday season coming and lot lot of cute things everywhere, so tempting :(
Here is some list...if you think you can resist 555.

- www.deuxpardeux.com
- www.kiddopotamus.com/
- www.kaloo-usa.com/
- www.zutano.com/
- www.mulberribush.com/
- sweet potatoes
- tea collection
- cute little me
- my little ducks
- miniman
- petit bateau/uk
- urchin / uk

October : Buzzz...y month

This month is pretty busy month for both me and pp. We have to attend our friend wedding in long beach. We have to go for hospital orientation, child birth class, interview pediatrician doctor for our baby and pick one this month. And I have to prepare for PP birthday on 15 too :)

Here is so different form Thailand, I have to choose everything by myself; The OB-GYN doctor for myself, I have to interview each of them and decide which one suit my need-I mean the one that will take care of me during my pregnancy. The pediatrician doctor for my baby, I also have to interview them to see whom I feel like-it hard to decide when you want to get the best one for your unborn baby. the hospital which I want to give birth is hard to choose, but this month I have to decide on one...

The hardest thing of all is to decide which way I want to give birth??? How do I know?
I want the shortest, easiest and painless route one-is there any? I hope so.

My doctor told me that I have the right to choose and he can not choose one for me unless I'm in critical condition between live and death... So, he assign me to take a childbirth preparation class, which is interesting and require both husband and wife to attend as a couple :) sound fun to me-will see.

After I make several phone calls to schedule the class but no response . I decide to go to hospital and luckily that I did, because I got the last seat on Nov 17-pretty close to my due date.

September 2007 : Gestational Diabetes

My OB visit this month is schedule to test for the gestational diabetes, which is a type of diabetes that starts during pregnancy and will be gone after delivery the baby. The big thing about this test is, if I have the diabetes (means my body isn't able to use the sugar in blood as well as it should, so the level of sugar in my blood becomes higher than normal), it can be unhealthy for me and my baby. The baby may be more likely to have a low blood sugar level or jaundice, or may weigh much more than normal-which make me become very over weight and may have a difficult delivery or need a c-section.

I was never heard of this GD before, and the nurse seriously told me that if I fell this test-she called it 1 hour test, I will have to come back for 3 hours test. And if I happen to have that GD, I have to see a specialist to control my food intake.

I kind of a bit scare, because my eating habit was change dramatically. In the past 3 years, I'm not really in to fast food at all-I ate 2-3 times at most. But this Past month, I crazilly fall in love with it, just to see the ads on TV- I feel like I have to have it. So, PP is very concern that I might fell the test, he try not to let me eat fast food the week before the test. but still- I can't help myself eat an ice-cream the night before the test 555.

Anyway, no one call me after the test which is a gesture that I'm fine-no GD :)

Lucky me, It is one pace further for my baby to a healthy world.

September 2007 : Books I read

"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings."

Since I acknowledge about my pregnancy, I try to behave myself 555. I mean, changing my routine, my diet and my habit in order to accommodate my baby and also enjoy my 40 weeks journey.

Reading is one of my favorite, actually it becomes part of my routine. I read several hour a day, everyday 555. Here has a very very good and large selection of books, newsletters, journals, magazines, only for the pregnancy alone is too many.

Just to name a few that I would recommend expectant mom;

- What to expect, when you're expecting / Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathsway B.S.N.
- Body, soul and baby : a doctor's guide to the complete pregnancy experience, from preconception to postpartum / Tracy W. Gaudet M.D.
- Dadditude : how a real man became a real dad / Philip Lerman.
- The making of a mother : overcoming the nine key challenges from crib to empty nest / Valerie Davis Raskin.
- Mayo Clinic guide to a healthy pregnancy / Harms, Roger W.
- From conception to birth : a life unfolds 1st ed. / Tsiaras, Alexander.
- Prenatal parenting : the complete psychological and spiritual guide to loving your unborn child / Wirth, Frederick.
- And a baby make three
- Expecting dad
- Secret of the baby whisperer

And for some reason, I was recommended by almost every mom I talked to that I SHOULD read to my baby. And the only book I can find for this purpose is "Oh baby! the place you'll go in the utero", by Dr. Seuss. Quite good book actually, full of imagination ( which I doubt that my baby would get it). Anyway, as a first time mom, I seem to be obsess about the rave reviews of any kind of baby products. Good excuse!

PP tease me to get BA in childcare 555, may be WHO KNOWS?

August 2007 : A kicker

Now I can feel my baby move all the time. It such a big different from the earlier of the month that I feel nothing, but now a little boy kick me several time a day, sometime kick me so hard and make me giggle to myself.

It was an ordinary night, that I will lay down and play music to a little boy with a prenatal speaker (I bought these small machine a couple month ago, and PP thought that it was useless thing-but I love it). While PP was working with his computer, the little boy continued to kick me like crazy, make me laugh out loud. PP glances at me with jealous eyes, as he want to feel the baby move for several night but he can not feel anything. PP sudden decide to put his hand on my tummy, the little guy stop kicking immediately 555, it is so funny(for me) - like the little guy aware of the big guy:) Normally, PP will gave up on little guy and back to work but tonight he still patient, leave his hand there...then come a very big kick right at his hand, he Ouch!!! now PP can feel a real kick :)

August 2007 : At first sight

August 23, I was scheduled to have the 4Th OB visit, the special part of this visit is I will have my first time ultrasound done ... I will see my baby... PP also take leave to come with me, no wonder he is very exciting as, or even more than I do. I was ask to drink 4-8oz. of fluid, half an hour before an appointment in order to full my bladder and make it easy to detect the baby. As far as my exciting, I end up drink 6 of it to make sure that I'm FULL :)

When the time come, we both really exciting. PP talk to technician all the time since he start to locate our baby. When we saw the baby's face for the first time. PP looks so happy and overwhelmed (I'm extremely happy to see my baby and to see PP happy to see our baby). Then we saw the baby's heart beating, the spine, the legs and two arms with litlle fists moving up and down. It was breathtaking when he try to find out the baby gender, because both of us have different determination, PP think the baby is a boy but I think the baby is a girl. (First I thought I have a baby boy coz, I got lot of acne all over my face, but this 2 months all that acne is gone and my tummy that start to show is kind of round) Finally, we found out that we have a baby "BOY", he is strong and very active, moving his arms and legs all the time. I was told that I'm at 22 week right now :) 18 more weeks to go!!! YEAH

PP keep smiling since he first saw the baby until we finished and walk back to parking lot...he still have that overwhelmed smiling face. I'm so happy. It is an exceptional experience that we both first met our baby together :)

August 2007 : Quickening

August 15, I feel the quickening today. It is so wonderful. I feel like a big bubble bursting in my tummy, then I stop doing everything and try to stay very still and wait to see if s/he will do it again, but No. I try to walk around, also try a little jump, but it's no use.

The next day, I feel the baby move again 2 time consecutively and several times during dinner:0 Sometime it feel like gentle taps or swishes in my belly, sometime it feel like a kick. Since then, I feel s/he move everyday. I 'm not yet to notice the different between kick, punch or hiccup, but I love to think that my baby might do acrobat right now:)

I explain to PP about this amazing quickening, he curious about it and want to feel it too. He put his hand on my belly every night and wait to see if he can feel it, but no luck he feel nothing.
This might be one of the best part for being mom, like a special prize for hard work...only mom can feel.

July 2007 : Anniversary

I love love love this month-July. My Birthday and also our Anniversary :) couldn't be better.
Normally, we eat out on this special day. Last year is a great one, a big surprise and a very memorable one for me. This year because of my pregnancy ( and picky), I decide to eat at home: peaceful and lovely birthday dinner(still thinking of last year dinner).

Last year-2006: Surprisingly, PP took me to a restaurant called "Yamashiro" (http://www.yamashirorestaurant.com), it is an exceptional dinner experience ever for me.
The restaurant itself is very nice - a traditional japanese architecture with a hillside landscape, located on top of hollywood hill, allow you to see the LA nightlight. But, the most impressive thing for me is none of above, It was my hubby,PP, who drove me there (which is consider far out of his driving range) in evening time which traffic is horrible(he hate it). This place require a valet parking only (he also hate it). And it need reservation only in order to get a panoramic view table(I never thought he will do that). I appreciate that he made this day a real special day.

For our Anniversary, I got a card and a countdown calendar. The card is touching and the calendar is a reminder that today of the next year, we will have one more little person with us.
This is what I need...when you are pregnant, a little bit more caring and thoughtful, make you feel like flying up high :)

My third OB visit on July 23 is as usual, and I was told to prepare for a sonogram next month...Oh! so exciting. I came home full of question, what would s/he look like? how big? is s/he will be ok? PP is very very curious to know whether our baby is boy or girl. I found a lot of old folk tale and a wonderful Chinese lunar calendar for gender prediction which had been said that it is 99% accurate: (http://www.obfocus.com/calculators/birthchart.htm) and it is accurate for my case :)

June 2007 : Google guru

This month is a Google month for me. What to do? What to eat? How to cope with the change? Lot lot of new things coming to my life. Frankly, this pregnancy start with many worrisome, because I'm in USA, no one give me an advise, no one I can talk to, no mom and dad, no kolkol and no kolbo...it is such a loneliness. My best friend is Mr. Google (I mean except PP), what to avoid? how to eat healthy? how to get enough nutrition for the baby? most of my time is spent on reading the How to stuff...

I still be haunted by morning sickness, lost appetite and can not eat that much. I don't like the smell of cooking oil, garlic, fried food. I don't pleased to see uncooked meat. I don't feel eating pork anymore. I don't want to walk by the meat section in supermarket, it's so smelly. Actually, I don't want to do cooking or do grocery shopping at all. PP seem to understand my change, he cooks for me both lunch and dinner without any complain. He soon become very good cook for me. And his signature dishes; the three musketeeres are spicy fried rice, rad-na and pad khee mao. He told me that he can cook only 3 dishes, but that more than enough for me. I really happy with his cooking and I'm able to eat more.

My second OB visit on June 25, I heard the baby heart beat with the hand held machine called doppler-the baby's heart beat so fast like a sound of gallop. I wish PP can experience it too.

May 2007 : Mysterious Month

I continue having weird feeling, extremely exhausted, drained and very sleepy..555...isn't it just a lazy me? I have feeling that I can sleep one whole day. On top of that, I retard on shopping of any kind, can you believe that? PP give me a hard to believe looked when I told him, but later he realize that it is true. I feel tried of anything that require my energy especially, walking. I don't even go to my fave store or do the grocery shopping, I'm unable to walk more than 2 aisle in supermarket otherwise, I lost my breath and feel pass out.

One night, something just pop in my mind...Am I pregnant? is all the sickness a sign?? when did my period last month??? OH...OH...I can not recall...( goose bump)

I'd had irregular periods, so it might just skip last month??? I try to clam down and think. Frankly, I can't. what's happen to me since the past month, it seem like what they call MORNING SICKNESS! How can I find out?

I wake up very early in the morning (actually I really exciting and can not sleep), take my pregnancy test and read the instructions very carefully a couple time. After I done, I stared at the stick and waited. I saw the second pink line appeared! It mean I'm pregnant, isn't it? :) :) :) Just to make sure I decide to go for the second test a few day later, and it is the same-an amazing pink line appeared like magic. I'm so exciting!!!

What should I do now? Doctor...Yes! I really need doctor this time. I spend a couple hour to read my insurance policy and coverage. Finally, I got my appointment with my primary doctor next week on May 22.

Doctor: Congratulation! you are.
Me : ??? sorry, what you just said?
Doctor: You are pregnant :)
Me : Oh!...thank you...(I'm speechless with a big smile...when you heard from the doctor, it feel more real than looking at the pregnancy test, isn't it?)

I was scheduled to see a gynecologist on May 30, whom also confirm that I am pregnant :)
and all my weird feeling is a very normal morning sickness which will be gone in couple months.
I go back home with a lot of butterflies flutter in my heart. I can't wait to tell PP.

April 2007 : Awkward Spring

Here come the spring, a good time for almost everything; picnic, breakfast on the beach, walking on the promenade, luncheon in the patio, dine out in an outdoor grilled restaurant; it is an Oh! so good season indeed. I plan to do a lot of activities on spring, but...

It is one nice spring day that my routine life keep going, from home, get coffee and work my ass off until 7pm. then go home to have dinner with PP. Such a boring! But for today, I feel awkward and exhausted since I'm wake up. How can you feel exhausted when you just wake up? What's happen to me? sick? flu? cold? Hmm! it must be cold, I have a cold every year when spring begins.

This weird cold attack me for week and still leave me some annoying feeling, but I really don't want to go see doctor, as you know visiting doctor here is such a headache, have to choose the primary doctor from network, have to call prior to visit for a week... It just a hassle for me, and this is why we both never get used of the insurance we paid for. Last time I feel sick, I made a call and got an appointment a week later, when my sickness already relief. This time I will try to be patient to see if I will get better soon.

Yesterday, I puke after a first sib of my fave coffee, and I don't feel drink coffee anymore. My craving for coffee is gone. I start to avoid some kind of foods too...it feel like I sudden become dislike it. Normally, I'm picky, but now it is even more. "A picki-est" PP named me.

March 2007 : Chapter One

After got back from Bangkok, Thailand 3 month ago; With all the concern, encourage, plus a little pressure from our family, make me keep thinking about one thing-a baby, is it the right time??? I reconsider myself, my life and my option again and again-Am I ready? Am I really done here in order to go there?

Living in USA is really challenge me in the way I used to see the world from where I belong, and also influence me to enjoy, to treasure and to get most of the beautiful moment in my life :) Likewise, to think of the having a baby for me is totally different from 3 years ago. Here in US, we have only the two of us, no helping hand as if we were in Thailand ... So, it really come down to the commitment between 2 people that will help each others out when it needs.

Anyway, the commitment come to me sooner than I thought. Gladly, it come to me before I'm expired (I had an implanted thought that woman aged over 35 is kind of expired for motherhood stuff, but refer to the doctor-it is ridiculous). PP seem to get some pressure from Bangkok trip too or he might just realize that we both getting old now 555.

Pregnancy is simply a point at which people start to take their lives seriously, do u agree?